Coachella 2011: What to See
Posted by Dan Buczaczer | April 12, 2011
As if there wasn’t enough to see as it was, Coachella went and added another tent this year. Unfortunately it’s yet more electronic acts – the one thing Coachella needs less of, not more. You’ll see that frustration show up in the heaping pile of DJs that reside at the bottom of my ratings. Other than that, I couldn’t be more excited for another year in the desert! Here first, a ratings key:
**** Do not miss this show
*** I really want to see this and will do everything I can
** Would love to see but may get sidetracked by a churro
* Let’s pretend these never happened
Comments and/or snark follows each act. Within each star grouping for each day, I have then mercilessly ranked each act in order again. So, for example, I would really like to see The Morning Benders. It’s just that I want to see Tame Impala bit more.
As always, a few comments for perspective:
+ I like seeing stuff I haven’t seen before when I go to festivals so most acts get heavily docked if I’ve seen them a few times (unless you are Arcade Fire and thanks for reading this post if you are!). I note who that applies to in each case with an asterisk so adjust accordingly if you haven’t seen them.
+ How they play live is way more important than how you sound on record for these ratings. Acts known for putting on a good show and those who actually play instruments vs. man a laptop generally fare much better.
+ I like to gamble on acts that will likely either amaze or disappoint and these ratings will continue to change up until the moment I’m at the show.
Without further ado, the ratings:
DAY ONE
****
!!!*
Like Will Ferrell meets Prince
***
Titus Andronicus
Because someone needs to carry the flag for rock n’ roll
Tame Impala
This year’s “bring your earplugs” entry
The Morning Benders
San Francisco’s own
Robyn
Dance party of the year
Ms. Lauren Hill
Will either be amazing or this year’s Sly Stone
Cold War Kids*
Never disappointing
Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears
Showtime at the Apollo
Sleigh Bells
This should be Ting Tings part two
Scala & Kolacny Bros
Choir versions of your favorite alterna-hits
Cee Lo Green
Will likely set the record for most one-liners in a Coachella set
**
The Chemical Brothers*
Visual greatness is promised
Klaxons
I missed ‘em last time. Not this time.
Warpaint
All-female Cure aspirants
The Black Keys*
The beer tent is gonna seem awfully far away during this one
OFWGKTA
Potentially insane hip hop collective
Cut Copy
This generation’s New Order?
Kings of Leon*
Luckily there aren’t many pigeons at Coachella
Moving Units
Like a kinder, gentler The Faint
Brandon Flowers
An epic sound married with zero stage presence
Kele
Bloc Party goes clubbing
Crystal Castles*
Moves this up to four stars if Robert Smith shows up
YACHT
A spastic LCD Soundsystem with no live instruments
Ozomatli*
More resilient than La Cucaracha
Flogging Molly*
Not to be confused with Dropkick Murphys
The Drums
50% surf indie, 50% high school musical
Beardyman
Like the guy from Police Academy who makes nosies
A-Trak
Spins stuff you know while making sounds with turntables
Nosaj Thing
Ambient with light show could be good late at night
Interpol
50% moody & atmospheric; 50% boring
G.Q.
Hip hop backed by Motown
Monarchy
Low-key house music
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Like Belle and Sebastian’s less-captivating cousins
*
Excision
Loves that fluttery bass
Glasser
Should go over about as well as xx did
Gypsy and the Cat
Exactly as compelling as their name implies
Cold Cave
Clearly listened to a lot of Joy Division
Sander Kleinenberg
Not one of the worst
Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti
Too much “freak” and not enough “folk”
Magnetic Man
Sadly not a superhero
Afrojack
Sadly not a Saturday morning cartoon
Emicida
Rapping in Portuguese
Omar Rodriguez-Lopez
As proggy as ever
Marina and the Diamonds
Squeaky
Hurts
Don’t think I would have even liked this in the 80s
Erick Morello
“I feel it like a hurricane touching deep within my soul”
12th Planet
Remixes stuff by adding extra bleeps and blips
Jakes
I predict very few slow ballads during this set
Brandt Brauer Frick
Sounds like hold music
Gayngs
Auto-tuned smooth jazz
Mount Kimbie
Don’t seem to entirely know what they’re doing
Skrillex
Skrawful
Sasha
Gets paid to make laser sounds
Caifanes
No, gracias
Breakage
Similar to the 700 DJs that have played Coachella previously
Kyle Hall
Similar to Breakage
The Aquabats
This is a joke, right?
Boys Noize
Breaking the normal rule that “if it’s spelled with a z it must be good”
DAY TWO
****
Mumford & Sons
At last we meet
Arcade Fire*
They are Arcade Fire
***
The Felice Brothers
Another band to help feed my budding obsession with Americana
Jenny and Johnny
Hope this will be as much fun as Jenny Lewis solo
Delta Spirit
Cold War Kids meet The Walkmen
Broken Social Scene
Especially if Emily Haines shows up
The Tallest Man on Earth
Bight sunny midday folk
Cage the Elephant*
They’ve been listening to a lot of Pixies
Elbow
Reminds me of Peter Gabriel
Foals
British dance rock
Big Audio Dynamite
Couldn’t hurt to hear the hits
The Joy Formidable
Big swirling guitars and female vocals
Raphael Saadiq*
If you haven’t seen him before he’s a must-see
Bright Eyes*
He seems cheerier now which hopefully makes for a good show
**
Wire
Memories of “120 Minutes”
Thao with the Get Down Stay Down
Whimsical warbly muisic
Phosphorescent
Plaintive Southern rock
The Kills
No frills two-person rock n roll
Two Door Cinema Club
NewWave-y indie rock
The London Suede
Pretentious Brit rock
Freelance Whales
Precious whimsical stuff
One Day as a Lion
Pro: Zach de la Rocha! Con: No Tom Morello
New Pornographers*
Seen them about 1,000 times
Gogol Bordello*
Seen them about 500 times
The Swell Season
Super mellow
The Radio Dept
Atmospheric
Erykah Badu
The very definition of neo-soul
Animal Collective
Don’t have a single friend who will accompany me though
Mariachi El Bronx
Mariachi music with white boy lyrics
Electric Touch
Somewhat bland rock with harmonies
Scissor Sisters
ABBA II
Trampled by Turtles
Bluegrass
Here We Go Magic
Magic Numbers-esque
Cults
Quirky xylophone pop
Bombo Estereo
Rock en Espanol with projections behind them
*
The Twelves
Good remixes
Alf Alpha
Same as The Twelves
Laidback Luke
Slightly less annoying house music
SBTRKT
Half decent
Paul Van Dyk
Should be big but not necessarily good
Lil B
Stoner rap
Joachim Garraud
A DJ that plays electronic stuff
The Love Language
Lots of crooning
Empire of the Sun
Just like Joachim Garraud
Shpongle
Hippie trance
Mary Anne Hobbs
London radio DJ
Francis and the Lights
Light rock that grates
Yelle
Disco with French chanting
Chuckie
Or just go sit in the lobby at a W Hotel
DJ Hype
Literally DJ + hype man
DJ Marky
Fast electronic stuff
Goth Trad
Like playing Pong in Ibiza
Fedde Le Grand
Fedde not so Grand
Andy C
Just like Empire of the Sun
Daedelus
I don’t get it
EE
Recalls the worst of 80’s music
Steve Angello
Unbearable
DAY THREE
****
The National
Old thinking: boring. New thinking: transcendent
Kanye West*
Being anywhere else will feel like you’re missing something
***
Menomena
Please tell me they’re brining a horn section
Fistful of Mercy
Folk lives!
Duran Duran
Here’s hoping they stick to the old stuff
Phantogram
Moody and too cool for school
**
Plan B
This year’s Amy Winehouse entry
Nas & Damien Marley
Will be fun and get you a free contact high
Neon Trees
Like when alternative ruled the Top 40
Chromeo
Like Saturday Night Fever meets electro-funk
Good Old War
Crosby Stills Nash and Good Old War
The Strokes*
The new lights are pretty but they’re still boring
PJ Harvey
Feels like one I should see
Trentemoller
Downbeat electro played live
fun.
Unabashedly happy
Rye Rye
Lil’ M.I.A.
CSS*
High energy Brazilian electro
OFF!
Black Flag + Redd Kross + Rocket From the Crypt
Ratatat
Guitars that sound like buzzing insects
MEN
Hipster dance music
Tinie Tempah
Dizzee Rascal meets Jay-Z
Duck Sauce
Barbara Streisand.
Twin Shadow
A more subdued Bloc Party
HEALTH
Noisy soundtrack rock
She Wants Revenge
Interpol you can dance to
Best Coast
Girl groups gone fuzzy
Wiz Khalifa
Hemp-inspired hip hop
Eliza Doolittle
Lily Allen with less wit but shorter shorts
Thunderball
Thievery Corporation-esque
Jimmy Eat World
Will sadly be waiting for the hits like everyone else
Foster the People
Earnest alternative rock
Green Velvet
Dance music with a sense of humor
Angus and Julia Stone
Sleepy lo-fi
Death From Above 1979
Dancey punk
Leftfield
At least they can afford cool lights
Ellie Goulding
This week on a very special episode of Gray’s Anatomy
*
Los Bunkers
Worship Los Fab Quatro
Presets
Dance music with vocals
High Contrast
Sounds an awful lot like the Propellerheads
Tokimonsta
KCRW-ready beats
Roska
Dub and more dub
Gord Downie
Acoustic boringness
Terror Danjah
Bleeps and bloops
City and Colour
Like your favorite sensitive coffeehouse soundtrack
Caspa
Never accused of not using enough bass
New Pants
Chinese New Wave
DJ Zinc
Rockin’ the upper right portion of the periodic table
Sven Vath
Means “boring techno” in Swedish
Jack’s Mannequin
Like The Fray but worse
Jack Beats
Put “off” after both words in their name. Heh heh.
The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77
Angry techno not unlike Death From Above 1979
Lorn
Better than Korn
Riva Starr
From what I can tell, no relation to Ringo
Axwell
Expect strobe lights
Kode 9
Krap
Ryan Leslie
Neo R&B singer complete with Auto-Tune jams
Joy Orbison
The name is way more fun than the music
Lightning Bolt
There won’t be a female in the audience
Delorean
Like the Tijuana clubs I frequented in the 80’s
Zed Bias
Easy listening meets electro
Chase and Status
Like those motivational posters in techno form
Related Posts
- Coachella 2010: What to See
- Coachella 09: Where I’ll Be
- The 2011 Coachella Report
- The 2010 Coachella Report
- The 2009 Coachella Report
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