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I knew I was late to the game on Hoarders, A&E’s  “look inside the lives of two different people whose inability to part with their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of a personal crisis,” so I watched it over the weekend. I was smirking as the show came up and the initial interviews with the subjects began.  Initial shots of their homes revealed stacked up boxes, stuffed animals, guns in open cases, and– in one home– a computer tucked away down a meandering walk-lane made of detritus.  I happened to have my laptop open and glanced at my screen.

And then I became afraid.

Throughout the rest of the show I looked back at my desktop, wandered through my e-mail, explored my file system.  By the time the sad tales of Guns McGee and Catsenyucky Plushtoys were over, I had taken the first step (admission) in the 12-Step Program.  What I didn’t know was how deep down the rabbit-hole I’d gone.  Evidently, there are 5 Levels to Compulsive Hoarding.  Levels 1-3 are relatively minor, without a need for direct intervention by those who might take things away from you.  Levels 4 and the big nasty Level 5 mean you need professional help and the cops/fire department/lawyers may be coming.  I’m not cool with those last two levels, so I need to figure out where I am on the scale.  After some searching, it turns out that digital hoarding is a thing.  But “its’ not a currently recognized subtype of compulsive hoarding by the DSM.” (wikipedia).  Well, I recognize it (in me), and you may need to do the same before it’s too late.

Take the Denuo Digital Hoarder Quiz– it may be time to make some changes…

(give yourself 1 point for every item that you answer “yes” to)

1. I have more than 150 messages in my current e-mail inbox.
2. My desktop has more than 15 icons on it.
3. I never delete– I only file.
4. I “own” music, games or movies (i.e., any of that is saved to my hard drive).
5. I compulsively bookmark.
6. I play social games (, , ).
7. I compare others’ Friends (or Followers, or LinkedIn connections) tallies to mine.
8. I’d rather buy a new drive than delete files.
9. I play Massively Multiplayer Online games and love “loot.”
10. I put things in my Recycle Bin/Trash… but I never empty it.
11. I download things to “look at later.”
12. I make lists of websites to go to.
13. I have received a warning from my company’s systems administrator about my e-mail storage use being too high for company policy.
14. I only use 25% or less of my smartphone apps on a regular basis.
15. My voicemail box is regularly full.

• If you scored 0-3 points, you are a Level 1 Digital Hoarder.  No special actions need be taken, but watch it– you’re on the edge.
• If you scored 4-6 points, you are a Level 2 Digital Hoarder.  Take a long look at your file system and inbox, then drag some stuff into the Recycle Bin.  Hit Empty.  Ahhh…
• If you scored 7-10 points, you are a Level 3 Digital Hoarder.  It’s affecting your relationship with your machine, certainly– and maybe your peers.
• If you scored 11-13 points, you are a Level 4 Digital Hoarder. We may have to talk.
• If you scored 14 or 15 points, you are a Level 5 Digital Hoarder.  Cry for help right now.

I know, I know– some of these things seem completely innocuous.  Many of the telltale signs do, so this just helps you catch yourself early– before it’s too late.  And no, I’m not ending with my score… but we may have to talk.